Fortuosity: The Little Things Edition

1. My sweet guy quickly logging into to gchat to so he can say hi to me during the workday. 
2. An old friend saying just what I needed to hear, exactly when I needed to hear it.
3. A great quote that is pulled into my mind at very opportune time 
4. The antics of nieces and nephews
5. An unexpected card in the mail inviting us to go stay with a dear friend
6. A quick, rejuvenating chat with an old college roommate
7. Getting up the guts to invite a potential friend and her husband over for treats (making friends as a couple is like dating- kinda embarrassing, kinda nerve-racking, kinda easier to just avoid most of the time. But we are trying)
8. Putting some finishing touches on my killer awesome budget spreadsheet
9. Realizing little blessings that have been sneaking up on me
10. Being able to listen again and again to great talks from General Conference

Because Sometimes I Want to Eat a Cookie Instead of Photograph it

After conference I have been thinking more about how "plugged in" I am; about how much time I spend with computers and phones compared to real people, the Spirit, or just quietly by myself.

There is so much about our world that is exciting, so many things that technology brings. I love having information at my finger tips; getting answers to most questions in minutes. I love being able to share ideas online with friends; to easily see pictures of my nieces and nephews. I love being able to text my boss a question when he is in a meeting instead of walking in and interrupting everyone. I love all of the resources online, all the learning that is available. There is a lot to love about technology, the internet, and social networks. However, I have been wondering if all of this easy access information is making me lazy, making it more difficult to live in and appreciate the moment, and causing relationships to suffer.

With so much easy access to ideas and information I sometimes forget to really studying something out myself. I go online find a couple opinions, pretend they are facts, and think that is good enough. I online shop often. I email friends instead of calling or visiting them. I, and I know I am not alone, endlessly pin new recipes, organizing ideas, or outfits but then don't find the time to execute most of these ideas.

While on a walk with my husband I repeatedly tried to capture the beautiful dusk light with a camera so that I could blog it later. After several attempts, all of which left something to be desired, he suggested I just appreciate it with my eyes. I was so focused on wanting to look back and fully appreciate that I wasn't taking the time to appreciate it while it was there. I cannot tell you how often I have interrupted a wonderful moment, like this, because I wanted to snap a picture. The beauty in the moment is in that actual moment; not in replicating it.

Every little beep on my phone pulls my attention away from whatever I am doing to check who is calling, texting, or emailing. I hate to admit that sometimes I have even allowed my attention to be stolen away form someone I love, someone right there with me to see who is on the phone. Do you remember the days of when someone couldn't get a hold of you? There is something kinda magically about not always being available for every life interruption, I miss that magic.

I recently heard someone call this habit, that our modern society thrives on, continuous partial attention. Sounds pretty inefficient and useless, huh? How much time do we waste online (not everything is a waste but we can all acknowledge we do waste plenty on time online) and find ourselves feeling that we don't have the time to do things that really matter to us.

I think we are missing the point sometimes, at least I am. I will still take pictures because I like to, and I want to capture this part of my life; to preserve our records. I will still blog and check things online, read others blogs, and look at pintrest. I am not advocating that we live under a rock. But, don't you want to have more moments and fewer status updates? Don't you want to do more living less and reporting on it? Don't you want more learning, less regurgitating? Don't you want more real connections and fewer virtual ones? Don't you just want more of a life? I do. I want to focus on living the life I want. I want to spend more time refining me and less time reviewing what others are doing.

I listened to this TED talk today while I was thinking about this and felt further inspired to have technology moderation.Then, immediately after the talk was over, I called a restaurant to ask about a special then hung up right after the answer. My coworker looked at me confused and said "weren't you going to order with them" I immediately said, "what? no. I am not going to talk to her when I can order online. Online will be much easier."

Clearly I have some work to do, but I am going to start unplugging for a few hours a day no phone calls, no texts, no pintrest, no emails. I know it sounds easy to stay off line for a couple of hours. But, I am talking phone silenced, computer off, a couple hours of continuous, uninterrupted time.  For just a few hours a day I am going to just be me (and anyone that is with me) and I am not going to spend the whole time thinking of how I can blog about it later.

Don't worry the irony of blogging about this topic is not lost on me. 

Sundays are a For...

• Being practically giddy because an older man at church called me a "breath of fresh air"
• Team teaching the Marriage and Family Sunday School class with my husband 
• Getting interrupted while teaching and being asked to take ourselves and our whole class into the larger room where they didn't have a teacher
• Team Teaching a Marriage and Family Class to loads more people than we planned, most of whom have loads more marriage and family experience. 
• Holding hands with my husband while team teaching Sunday School (nerdy? Yes. Maybe a little ridiculous? Yes. Something I might have rolled my eyes at if I saw someone else do it? Yes. But it just happened- I don't know. I guess we are kinda in a hand holding habit). 
• Putting on sweatpants right after church and remembering how much I love him in sweatpants. (why is it that he can look so adorable in sweatpants while I look  frumpy chic. I once had a guy describe my style that way and I have never gotten over it, so I try to work it into as many conversations as I can. I don't even really know what frumpy chic means, but I do know it does not mean adorable. In fact, in sweatpants I look heavy on frumpy very light on the chic)
• Unpacking warm clothes and packing away summer stuff
• Scheduling the week- this is one of my favorite things to do, except when I realize the week is really very busy and then I feel a bit tired in advance
• Being cuddled and cozy while I flip through Martha Stewart Living, thinking to myself that I really should make more pies. 
• Realizing it is time to make dinner (at 6:30) and feeling like it is already so late (at 6:30) that I just don't have the energy. Time moves differently on Sunday and dinner after 5 seems downright ridiculous. I am having a realization as I type this, that a girl who says things like the above, probably isn't about to be baking more pies. 
• Deciding to make some beans, cheese, and avocado, with chips. I am trying to make it sound classier than it was, but, yeah we had nachos for dinner because apparently we are freshman in college.  
• Wondering if we should say a blessing on dinner when our dinner wasn't a dinner at all and was a snack. 
• Deciding yes we should bless the food and also pretending out loud that our dinner was kinda healthy
• Getting a look for him when I referred to nachos as "kinda healthy" 
• Watching a movie together
• Picking out clothes for the week
• Scheduling dinners for the week (when I don't have a plan I come up with things like nachos)
• Saying family prayers
• Quickly falling asleep 

Week Links: Just a couple

I couldn't stop smiling over this 

I want to make this

I saw a link to this on A Blog About Love. As a result I spent my entire lunch watching videos from the "I'm a Mormon" series and getting teary. I am sucker for people that are trying hard and being true to themselves which means I get teary often.

This is great. I am going to make a list of things that I am this Sunday.

We had this for dinner on Wednesday at it was pretty good, we added some crumbled prosciutto on top.

Last Weeks, Week Links (because I forgot to post)

I liked this list: 10 Things Every Single Needs To Know About Marriage I do feel like I was told a lot, if not all of these before I was married, at some point along the way (but maybe I was just lucky) It is still a good list and even if you know it, it's a nice reminder. 

Did I ever mention that I studied Social Sciences in college? It is true. I loved it. I love talking about why people do things and how the interact with other and why things we can do to be better people, better communicators, and better to those we love. To me it is one of the best things ever. I loved my classes, I loved studying this stuff; I love it. So I look for opportunities to still learn about and discuss that stuff. 

One way I do that is by blogging. I love explaining the different things I am doing and how I feel. I love talking about interactions with others and things that I have learned. I also write this blog to journal so that I can track progress and trends in my own life; so I can become better. And so I (and now my husband too) have records of what we are doing and how we are feeling. 

Another way that I hang recapture the social sciences is that I try to still study them. I try to watch documentaries or read articles I find and I try to occasionally watch some TED talks. Here are two I have enjoyed lately. 

Your body language shapes who you are 

The happy secret to better work (I especially love this one). One of my favorite lines from this is "the absence of disease is not health" 

Also I started to re-watch General Conference  One of the first things I do is listen to Priesthood Session and then I start to listen to those I remember but don't remember well. Or I listen to those talks that had a big impact on me so I can start to write down goals and ideas to work on. 

Is This What They Mean by Fat and Happy?

It is 9:30 AM and I can hear a soda can opening, the sound echos through the office. I work with a handful of accountants. These same accountants, all men, stare at spreadsheets and numbers all day, and they drink a lot of soda. One drinks mostly Cherry Coke, another Diet Coke, another one Dr. Pepper, and the last drinks Mnt Dew. I try to drink water. It isn't because I am the kind of girl that never drinks soda, I like soda, in fact, I even like Cherry Coke. My bosses is like a Cherry Coke pusher the first few are always free and offered before I even ask for them. How can I not drink it if it is already in my hand? That is how the desire for Cherry Coke started; that and lots of late nights at work. I used to work late a lot until one of my bosses pulled me aside and said I would never meet any boys if I was always at work and told me to leave the office and essentially get a life. I obliged.

Anyway, I get headaches and migraines often so I stopped drinking caffeine just in case. I don't know if it helped. I still can't really tell what helps with headaches and what doesn't, but not drinking caffeine can't hurt so I don't do it anymore. Then I got married and I well... started to gain weight so now I don't ever drink soda during the day. Well occasionally I do, but almost never. I know some people would say I shouldn't drink soda at all, but I am not there yet. So, I turned down soda and turned up the water, also an anti-headache measure (again I don't know if it helps but it doesn't hurt). If nothing else, less soda should equal less weight gain.  I hear that pop of a can opening, and like a recovering addict my thoughts are pulled from what I am doing and are distracted by the desire for soda. Take another swig of water and get back to work.  You see an office isn't an easy place to be healthy. Everyone eats all day partially out of boredom and to help them stay awake. People eat whatever they can get their hands on and that usually means junk. I am not a strictly healthy eater, I love sweet things, however, I actually like eating healthy. I like fresh fruit and veggies. I like homemade.

Yet, I am gaining weight like I am preparing for hibernation and since I am not hibernating it isn't ideal. I have heard a lot of "everyone gains weight when they get married" but why? Is it some kind of cosmic equalizing technique- sure you aren't as fit and hot as you'd like to be, but now you have a husband, so that's something? Is it because subconsciously I know I don't have to try so hard to attract people anymore? I have been thinking about it for a while and with the help of the husband I think I have figured it out:

First, we get out less. Since we no longer have to go anywhere to be alone or to see each other we often times don't go anywhere at all. Being a real homebody, sitting on the couch watching documentaries on Netflix with the man I love is a real dream come true for me (that sounds sarcastic, it isn't sarcastic. I do love it). But, it isn't very... what do people call that?... active. So more sitting around equals more chubby tummy.

Second, we eat more regular meals. As a single girl I can't even start to count the number of times that I ate popcorn for dinner, had a bowl of cereal for every meal, or was running around so much I forgot to eat altogether. I know that this was not a healthy way to live. I know that eating regular meals with more food groups than pasta is a better idea for any body. But, it is new to my body. It is hard to cook for one so lots of times you don't and now I am more than just the one so I do cook, kinda

Third, and the most significant one in the list, I eat more. We noticed that when I plate dinner I often split it right in half. My husband and I are no where near the same size yet, I am accidentally pacing my eating with his. Why? I don't know.It is craziness. I didn't even know I was doing it until I felt myself thicken and started to investigate. I have asked around and lots of women say they accidentally did the same thing, keeping pace with their hungry husband.

I never took people seriously when they said newlyweds gain weight, but I am here to testify that it is, in fact, the truth. So, here are some tips, from my fat face to yours: 

• drink water and not Cherry Coke, even when everyone else is doing it
• Eating as much as your loved ones isn't the only way, nor is the the most piratical way, to bond
• Going on a walk with your husband is surprisingly more romantic than trying to compete for food at dinnertime. 

Applicable songs:
Bad Body Double- Imogen Heap
Big Girl You are Beautiful- Miika

Fortuosity: Daddy's Girl Edition

When I was little I was such a daddy's girl that I would part my super short hair on the side and slick it down like my dad did. It is true. So since it was my dad's birthday a couple days ago, here are some of the reasons I am grateful for my.

1.  My dad and I were the same age when we got married. So, even though I would never admit it at the time, he understood my how I felt the last few years.

2.  He enjoys Masterpiece Theater just as much as the rest of us.

3.  He could always fix anything: cars, slivers, broken toys, and
     everything else.


 4.  He is honorable and righteous.

5.  Has has a poetry voice (a certain voice that only comes out when he is reading poetry)

6.  He actually did read poetry at the dinner table and would ask us to discuss it (he got his PhD in English, if that helps you make sense of this information).

7. He has super awesome farmer hands (which now that you have seen them should make you even more impressed that he could get out slivers for us).

8. He makes homemade pizza, pasta, french bread, jams, syrups, etc and it is all  fantastic.

9.He taught me to love words and Elder Maxwell talks

10. He taught me to appreciate culture, especially Italian culture.

As you can see he is a bit of a Renascence man.

There was a mouse at work

The mouse wasn't in my office but my bosses. Since I assist him with stuff I am apparently supposed to take care of this mouse. There are a lot of things I can do, but I don't do mice. Mice make me uneasy and I think they are gross.

I set-up traps in some offices, but I don't know who is going to check them and dispose of them when necessary. I do know it won't be me.

When I lived alone a mouse moved in with me. This particular mouse seemed to think he had been invited. After the first time we met he no longer fled I came into the room. He would look me right in the eye and then seemed to indicate we were out of chips. Soon after he moved in, I moved out.

I have a drawer full of food at work. I am tempted to throw all of it in the trash, no questions asked.

I really don't like mice.

I Don't really Like Flip Flops

When walking to the copier this morning I heard that distinct (and obnoxiousness) smacking that flip flops create. I to myself I grumbled about  how inappropriate flip flops are for any and every occasion,  except maybe the pool or the beach. Not only are they loud but they make such an unpleasant flippant (pun intended) noise, proclaiming  casualness in a loud voice. Also, to add insult to injury they are not a real shoe, they are something between a shoe and bare feet; a testament to indecision. I wished that my coworker would make better shoe choices; less offensive shoe choices. Right about that same time I realized mine were the only walking feet and the smacking was coming from me. Upon returning to my office I investigated my shoe to discover I suddenly had my very own DYI flip flops (or flick flocks as my nephew would say). I am totally baffled and a little offended (see rant above). Mere moments earlier my shoes were fine and then, without any warning, one decides to split in half and I am forced to be promoting a style and sound that I don't affiliate with.

Like I mentioned before it hasn't been my week. Nothing big or tragic has happened just a week full of those pesky little things. Isn't it interesting how humbling an off week can be? It is hard to feel real arrogant when you are constantly sniffing, when your lips are super chapped from a Saturday garage sale, and the combination of the two makes you feel, and probably look, about as together as a third grader. It is hard to feel especially proud when you can't express a single thought without at least three commas. It is hard to feel very professional when you spent part of Tuesday with your fly down and you have a roll of toilet paper on your desk because you are too cheap to go buy Kleenex. It is hard to get on your soap box about flick flocks when your shoes are falling apart and you wore a baseball tee just two days ago.

An off week sure has a way of smacking you right in the face (or foot) with the reality of things. Ok I get it, I am not that awesome and my issue with flip flops might be a little extreme. Consider me humbled.

Luckily my husband came with a dowry filled with different types of glue so that shoe will be fixed in no time.

Fortuosity: Conference Weekend Edition

General Conference weekend is one of my favorite things. We get together with family and spend the whole weekend enjoying each other, eating great food, and listening to modern day Prophets and Apostles. I really do love it more than I can say.

In honor of Conference this weekend I decided to make a quick list of some of the reasons I love this weekend.

1. Hearing from a modern day Prophet, Apostles, and other Leaders in the church (I know I kinda already mentioned that but it is so great).
2. Having another excuse to get together with family
3. Oatmeal Brulee (we have traditional food that we eat every conference weekend)
4. Being cozy with blankets and socks. I really love to be cozy
5. It is a completely relaxing and rejuvenating weekend (unless you are the one hosting and then it can be a touch stressful at points, not that I would never I never host because I don't have a house yet. There are some perks to being a bit behind everyone else). 
6. Getting to wear sweats or jeans or whatever you fancy. 
7. Discussing the things we learn and sharing our favorite parts of different talks
8. Warm drinks or fancy cold drinks and endless treats and pastries
9. Staying up late giggling and talking about things with my sisters and mom
10. Getting answers to prayers and other questions and receiving another confirmation of truth about principles that I hold very dear

Happy General Conference Weekend! 

Today...

I had to try on 6 different things before settling on a baseball tee and some cords (not my fanciest work look)

Everything I tried on ended up on the floor of my bedroom

I had my fly undone at work for an unknown amount of time.

I have fixed my hair a million times today and it still doesn't look very presentable

I didn't have anything clever or interesting to blog

and my face is still all cold-y.

some days just don't go the way you hope

Comfort Food and a Runny Nose

This summer we have been on a real Toad in the Hole kick. Have you ever had these? I have heard a few different names for them. But, what's in a name? That which we call a breakfast by any other name would taste as sweet. Yes I am a nerd. In the this context I, unlike Romeo, do not mean sweet like sweet. I mean sweet as in beyond awesome, like sweeeet!

We eat these a lot, and early in our marriage (so like a few months ago) we decided to take it to the next level and make Toad in the Hole Sandwiches. We take an extra slice of bread and toast it. Then we add cheese, avocado (if we have them, which we always do), red onion, and sometimes he adds a tomato slice to his. Then we sandwich it all together and enjoy. Yesterday I woke up with the beginning of a pretty awful new cold. I was congested and  tired and felt like a puppy with a constantly wet nose (don't pretend like you don't know what I mean). We heated up some soup when we got home from church and then relaxed a bit. Relaxing turned to napping, which usually makes me
feel guilty but, I was sick so I let it slide. When we woke up around 6:00 it was time for dinner. I was still feeling pretty draggy so he made us some Toad in the Hole Sandwiches with a special new addition, prosciutto. They were so delicious and now they are all I want to eat. He also heated up cider for me and rubbed my back. It is kinda, well almost delightful being sick when someone loves you and fusses over you.

I am not pointing any fingers but, there was one particularly runny nosed nephew when I was hugging kids on Saturday and I am pretty sure he is to blame for my current state.

(picture taken from http://leelacyd.blogspot.com/2011/03/best-breakfast-title-ever-toad-in-hole.html)