I am the baby of my family and when I was young, always felt a little behind. I remember how desperately I wanted to grow-up, to be in the same place as those around me. One night in particular we were sitting at the dinner table and my dad had just read one of his favorite poems (yeah that's my family, we often discussed literature at the dinner table). After he finished he looked up at the group and said, "Can anyone tell me what this poem is about?" I was really excited for him to get to me, in my mind I had a real gem to share. Finally, it was my turn. The whole table turned in my direction; my dad gave me a loving and sympathetic smile and as I open my mouth to begin he said, "Don't worry, your time will come." At the time my dad's words of encouragement broke my little, over-eager heart. In the years since then it has been one of our favorite family jokes.
Being single can sometimes feel like eagerly waiting for your time come. Finding the right person can be tricky, it can take time. Yet, we somehow feel behind if love doesn't come quickly and easily. We start to feel like there is something missing, something more than love and companionship; something off about you. Why do we do that? Why do we start to search for irrational answers when the rational ones are right in front of us and widely accepted by everyone. Being alone can be well... lonely. Why make it worse by adding self-deprecation and doubt. Here's the point: there is a way to be single and not be sad about yourself. There is no reason to further the stereotype that being single and female makes you desperate.
Being single can sometimes feel like eagerly waiting for your time come. Finding the right person can be tricky, it can take time. Yet, we somehow feel behind if love doesn't come quickly and easily. We start to feel like there is something missing, something more than love and companionship; something off about you. Why do we do that? Why do we start to search for irrational answers when the rational ones are right in front of us and widely accepted by everyone. Being alone can be well... lonely. Why make it worse by adding self-deprecation and doubt. Here's the point: there is a way to be single and not be sad about yourself. There is no reason to further the stereotype that being single and female makes you desperate.
The fact is that over the years my time has come repeatedly. Every time I learn something new or work hard to achieve a goal. When I graduated college or when I got my first big girl job. When I get to spend time with my family or see the way my nieces and nephews look at me. Really anytime I feel like a good, genuine version of myself my time has come. So why would I feel like my time has to wait for marriage? I want to get married because I value family and marriage; I am not going to pretend like I don't. I don't have to take value out of marriage to find the value in my current life. It's all about balance. Being able to be happy and secure as a single girl does not mean that I don't really want marriage. But, caring about marriage does not make me desperate. I am a lot of things and for sure a work in progress, but I am anything but desperate.
--- Not Desperate in SLC
--- Not Desperate in SLC
