Today I came home from a long day at work, most of my days are long. I read a post from all of your dear and inspiring blogs and tried to force my mind to let go of the offensive thing someone said to me at work.
I started to think about things (something I do a lot) and think about me (something I do even more). Recently I have gotten to know a guy that is a bit challenging. Some might even call him a chauvinist, and by some I mean most of us. Actually, if we are being honest (which we always are), that's kinda his nickname in most circles. At least the circles that I am in and the circles that don't know him, except through the stories that I have told. But hey, I am not saying that everyone would find him arrogant and sometimes hard to be around, or even that I always do.
I started to think about things (something I do a lot) and think about me (something I do even more). Recently I have gotten to know a guy that is a bit challenging. Some might even call him a chauvinist, and by some I mean most of us. Actually, if we are being honest (which we always are), that's kinda his nickname in most circles. At least the circles that I am in and the circles that don't know him, except through the stories that I have told. But hey, I am not saying that everyone would find him arrogant and sometimes hard to be around, or even that I always do.
It's kinda odd...
I am getting ahead of myself. So this guy is a chauvinist. And has especially chauvinistic opinions about me and has freely expressed such opinions more than once. (Don't worry "some day I will find someone that will like me enough that they won't mind it"-it being my personality). So my initial reaction to the challenge to fit my gender roles more appropriately was, as I am sure you can imagine, to pretty much tell him to stuff his "gender rolls" in his own oven. I debated with him some of the finer points of dating and my apparent inability to do it appropriately on more than one occasion. I was strong, I was bold, I was well... kinda mean sometimes. one night after he and his roommate left i felt sad and sick and embarrassed. Not because I didn't believe the things I had said but because I didn't agree with what all of it implied about me.
I couldn't sleep that night. The next morning I realized I had a bad case of what we'll call extremefemininitis. I let myself fall into the trap of proving how great women can be by acting as far from womanly as I could. Yeah the feminist movement has made it possible for us to be almost anything and anyone we want, great. So why do we seem to keep choosing to just be awful? Being strong doesn't mean you fight anyone that looks at you wrong or kick anyone that kicks you first. Strength is being sympathetic and forgiving. Being powerful isn't the same as being the boss of everyone around you. Being bold isn't being louder than someone else or saying something no one else will say (sometimes no one is saying it because it shouldn't be said). Being strong and bold is not being afraid to be who you want and who you are meant to be. It's not letting your goals become weakened by others' ignorance and fear. I am sad about all the women who have let themselves get lost in trying to prove that they can be the same as men. Equal is not same; same is not equal. There are so many aspects of gender that are innate and eternal. We are good at different things for a reason, and we are good at different things.
I have a very kind heart, I always have. But for some silly reason i have spent years trying to diminish it. My heart is made of pure kindness and filled to the brim with love. Granted, it does have its patches of sassiness and the occasional stitches of cynicism but there is more good than bad. So why do I let myself be baited into pretending I am filled with more hardness than softness? Why do we let the world dictate what it means to be a strong woman? Being tough and hard are bad qualities in meat (or so I am told, I am not much of a meat eater) but they are especially unappealing in women. (Yes, I did just compare women to meat. Eat that feminist everywhere.)
I am thankful for women that are their own special kind of strong and the men that "like them enough that they don't mind it". I am thankful for our differences and I am thankful for all of our shared potential. I am thankful that, most of the time, I am me. I am thankful that I can be brave, but I am especially thankful that I am so kindhearted it makes me weak sometimes- okay a lot of the time.
Sometimes I don't want to roar.
It turns out, with a softer heart, this chauvinist I know, isn't so bad
It turns out neither am I.
I have a very kind heart, I always have. But for some silly reason i have spent years trying to diminish it. My heart is made of pure kindness and filled to the brim with love. Granted, it does have its patches of sassiness and the occasional stitches of cynicism but there is more good than bad. So why do I let myself be baited into pretending I am filled with more hardness than softness? Why do we let the world dictate what it means to be a strong woman? Being tough and hard are bad qualities in meat (or so I am told, I am not much of a meat eater) but they are especially unappealing in women. (Yes, I did just compare women to meat. Eat that feminist everywhere.)
I am thankful for women that are their own special kind of strong and the men that "like them enough that they don't mind it". I am thankful for our differences and I am thankful for all of our shared potential. I am thankful that, most of the time, I am me. I am thankful that I can be brave, but I am especially thankful that I am so kindhearted it makes me weak sometimes- okay a lot of the time.
Sometimes I don't want to roar.
It turns out, with a softer heart, this chauvinist I know, isn't so bad
It turns out neither am I.
-Not Desperate in SLC
Applicable songs:
I Enjoy Being A Girl- Doris Day
You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Women- Carole King or Aretha Franklin depending on your mood
Applicable songs:
I Enjoy Being A Girl- Doris Day
You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Women- Carole King or Aretha Franklin depending on your mood
