Man I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted...

“We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are.” Marjorie Hinckley

Monday Madness: Dude Where is My Car?

This was emailed to me by a friend, here is the story in her own words:

  Part of the driving experience at BYU includes dealing with the relentless parking enforcement companies that patrol the apartment complexes near campus.  They have a sixth sense for sniffing out cars that are parked in a lot without a permit.  One of the complexes I lived in seemed to be especially bad, I knew multiple people that got the dreaded boot on their car within minutes of being in the parking lot.    

            One night a guy from my student ward picked me up in his car to take me on a date.  At the end of the night he took a big risk; he parked in my parking lot without a permit so he could walk me to the door.  Since I didn't hear from him after he left, I assumed he had made it home without any problems.    

            A few days later I was surprised to find him on my doorstep.  With a look of panic on his face he asked me if I had seen his car.  A little confused by his state of distress, I told him I hadn't seen his car since our date.  A funny expression of relief and embarrassment came over his face as it dawned on him that after our date he had forgotten his car and simply walked home.  A quick look in the parking lot told us that his car had been towed.  It turned out to be a really expensive first date for him as he paid to get his car out of the tow yard.    

Monday Madness: On Love

Lately my nieces have been trying to grasp the idea of a boyfriend. One is 6 and one is 4 and both are very into the idea of love.

My younger niece, we'll call her O, had the following announcement for my sister the other day.

O: "hey, mom. I am on love; I am on love with young Fitz." obviously she didn't call him young Fitz, I just threw that name in to protect the innocent, and I do mean innocent because I happen to know the dopey 4 year old boy that has captured her fancy and I can vouch for the fact that it was not his intent. I do, however, like that she said on love. I think that on love almost describes the condition of love better than saying in love.

Her sister, whom we will call K, is the real romantic though; K spends a lot of her time thinking about love. For about a year little K has asked question about marriage, wondered how you pick the person you marry and why you can't just marry your dad or your best friend cousin. But, in the last few months she has changed her tune. She has started "swooning" her word choice, not mine over a boy. When asked once why she liked a particular boy she said, just like the teenager that she isn't, "It's hard to explain, mom." She has also been known to appreciate a boy with similar characteristics as her "I like that his hair is the same color as mine".

While babysitting once she said to me, unprompted, "You know why I like my boyfriend? I like the way he looks and I like the way he acts." When I tried to explain to her that she was far too young to have a boyfriend, she looked at me and said, "Oh, I didn't know. But, I already do."

It is so refreshing to see a couple that is really committed to one another.

Should I text him?

How often do you sit around at debate if you, or a female friend, should initiate a correspondence with a young man? I will not speak for any of you but, I know that for me and mine it happens all the time. All of us have different rules and philosophies about what is, or is not, appropriate and when, or if, we, as ladies, should make a first move. I love to hear different ideas about dating and dating rules. This is something I saw on my friends fridge (you can find it for real here):

Let's talk more about gender roles, dating rules, and what we think works.

Monday Madness: Singles say the darnedest things

Agatha was a confident, young college co-ed. She had been forming crush-like feelings for Fitz for a while now and decided that her feelings were advanced enough to share. Deep down in her heart Agatha relished moments like this; opportunities to talk openly and honestly with some unsuspecting young man. Many of her friends were frightened by the thought of confessing their feelings, but to Agatha it was a rush. She was like an adrenalin junky looking for her next fix while all her friends stared on in disbelief and fear. She saw their looks of apprehension and sometimes even judgement and that only made her want to climb even higher before she took her next leap of honesty. She loved knowing what men thought of her and if they would or could be interested in dating. To Agatha the knowing was more important than waiting for the right answer. Often, she would cheerfully force a man's hand toward rejection if it meant the suspense and uncertainty would be over; she didn't care what the answer was she just cared to hear an answer, any one would do.

That night she and Fitz were alone and she jumped quickly at her opportunity. An experienced risk taker, she needed no time to prepare for the fall. Before Fitz knew what hit him she launched into the following conversation... or maybe confrontation:

Agatha: "So Fitz, I have been enjoying our time together and believe that I am ready for us to see what potential this relationship would have."

Fitz: "huh?"

Agatha: "I am not sure that we have any romantic potential but I feel convinced enough of our ability to get along and I think that we should give dating a shot"

Fitz: "Uh..."

Agatha: "Oh, Fitz, please don't say anything right now. I have had time to think on this and you, obviously, have not. You can take a minute to get your head around this and then give me your answer. I do not mean to come on too strong and do not wish for you to be mislead, I am in no way in love you. I just feel enough of a crush forming that I wanted you to know I would be willing to let this play out naturally. Well, I guess the fact that I am talking about this does make it a little less natural and little more controlled. So, what I am trying to say is that I just didn't want there to be any room for misunderstanding; I wanted you to know exactly how I feel. So, I feel somewhere between entirely indifferent and very interested... I guess we could call that moderately interested. Yes. Moderately interested. I don't really care if we do this or if we don't. I just hate to waste my time so I would love to know now so I can plan for the next little while; so I know what to expect from our interactions. So I know how interested to let myself be and if I should try for something more coupley with you.

Fitz: Well, I...

Agatha: "Honestly, don't talk about it until you are ready. I don't need you to say anything right now. I just want to say what I feel and make sure that you understand where I am coming from. So, not in love. Not trying to force this either direction. Essentially indifferent to you and our relationship... Well, that's not accurate, we are friends so I am obviously more than indifferent to you. I do enjoy you, but it's not like you are the only man in the world. I mean if you want to stay friends that would be fine. I just want to make sure that you know that am interested enough and would say yes if you asked me out. Ok?"

Fitz: "Ok? Well, I don't think I like you as much as you like me. Not right now at least. I mean I can't predict the future..."

Agatha took a deep breath and tried to stay in control, she was a little annoyed at his stupid response. Of course you can't predict the future! she thought to herself. I am not asking for you to become a Super Hero, I just want you to answer a simple question. She wondered why men are so inept at communication; why can't they just say how they feel? So she pushed him a little and said "so you are not interested?"

Fitz: "Not right now"

Agatha: "Just a yes or no answer please."

Fitz: "Well... no"

"Great." Agatha said with a smile. "I am so glad we had this talk, cleared a lot up, don't you think?"

Fitz: "Sure?"

Agatha smiled again and gave Fitz a big hug before practically skipping home. Now she could happily return to her comfortable existence and not have to wonder about anything or anyone. "Man!" she thought to herself, "I am really good at this dating business."

Fear Not For Thou Hast Found Favor With God

I, like many of you, adore the story of Christ's birth. Aside from the the obvious religious implications, which are very dear and sacred to me the story, by itself, is still incredible. The cast of characters is extensive but everyone plays such an essential role. From the very beginning of Christ's life the principles that He would exemplify were already apparent in those that were close to Him at his birth. 


This story begins with Zacharias and Elisabeth and their story of patience and promise. They were both righteous and thus prepared for whatever role their Father in Heaven had in store for them. They are such a great example of enduring. They waited so many years for a child and then to get one so late in life. In their place I may have felt overwhelmed. However, they were willing to be parents to a very special baby boy. John the Baptist was specially called to prepare the way and testify of Jesus Christ, a role that assumed even while in the womb (Luke 1:41). 


Next we add the obedient shepherds watching their flock by night. Whom after receiving the news of Christ from Angles of the Lord said "'Let us now go'...and they made haste" (Luke 2: 15-16). How easily they could have made excuses or debated the timing. They could have waited until morning, been concerned with the logistics of such a trip, or afraid for their safety or the safety of their flock. Yet, they made haste. 


Then we have those and faithful wise men who were not only willing to make large sacrifices themselves, but who were  faithful enough to recognize the signs of Christ's birth. What righteous, wonderful men. Their eagerness to pay tribute to the Savior; their faith. They were ready to trust that the fate of all mankind be left in the hands of such a small boy. 


Now, we have our dear Joseph; what an honorable young man. When Joseph first heard that Mary was pregnant he, naturally, must have felt so betrayed. However, he cared about Mary and could not leave her to suffer the consequences of the law. He wanted to do right by Mary and keep things very quiet. Then when he understood the reality of Mary's situation he married her quickly taking on both the responsibly of parenthood to Savior of the world and the judgement and cruelty of those who didn't understand. 


I love Mary. What a perfect example for Christ to grow up with. I can only imagine what she must have felt. What an incredible thing to be called to do. When the angel Gabriel appeared to Mary and explained her mission she had only two things to say in response. First she said "how should this be, seeing I know not a man?" after Gabriel's answer to her sweet, humble question saying "with God nothing shall be impossible". Mary then replied "Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word" (Luke 1). I love her response. I admire Mary's courage. What she was asked to do must have been so daunting and humbling. I would be terrified and sure that I was not qualified for such a task. How does one parent the Son of God? What could a young girl have to offer? How many years of ridicule and misunderstanding were facing her and those she loved? With all of that ahead how admirable that all she had to say was "be it unto me according to thy word." 


From the first moments of Christ's earthly life those importance principles of his ministry were already in place. In this amazing story we learn such importance lessons of enduring, testifying of truth, obedience, faith, honor, and courage. As i read this story each year i cannot help but wonder what my role is; to wonder if I am prepared for what I will be asked to do. This story makes it so clear how the seemingly small, supporting roles of life can have great importance to the Lord. How dearly we are all loved by Heavenly Father and how important we are to Him. I know, with all my heart, that each one of us has an important role to play. We are capable of so very much and it is because of that scared day when the Savior was born and made way for two more important principles that of love and redemption. It is because of both of those that we are able to reach our potential. If we can follow the example of those that were there that sacred day and endure, testify, be endlessly obedient, faithful, and full of honor, and courage. and if we use the atonement of our Savior to learn how to perfectly love and seek redemption we can someday hear "Thou has found favor with God" 


Applicable links:
Videos of Christ's birth

Monday Madness: It Happens All The Time

Agatha and Fitz were on their first date; it wasn't going well. It was the end of the semester and Fitz was days away from moving back home. Agatha was already pretty emotionally neutral about ole' Fitzy and his impending move made her even less enchanted with this date. As they were bowling up on campus she kept thinking to herself 'what is the point of this' and had worked herself into a bit of a funk.

They walked back to her house and Fitz said, "why don't we go get a movie?"

Agatha begrudgingly agreed only to be reminded that Fitz didn't have a car so she would be driving them to rent this movie. She walked down to her car, saw it covered in snow, and was miffed. She thought to herself, "why can't this date just be over already!" Agatha decided that she would hurry things along and not do any snow removal on her rear window. She jumped in the car, thew it into reverse and very soon after heard her car and the apartment dumpster meet with a big thud.

Fitz looked wide-eyed at Agatha and said, "Oh man" with a bit of wonder and amusement in his voice.

Agatha was now beyond miffed both by her dreadful night and by Fitz's stupid response. So she very calmly and nonchalantly said "Eh, it's ok. It happens all the time" while throwing her car into drive and speeding out of the lot.

and Fitz bought it.