Monday Madness: It Happens All The Time

Agatha and Fitz were on their first date; it wasn't going well. It was the end of the semester and Fitz was days away from moving back home. Agatha was already pretty emotionally neutral about ole' Fitzy and his impending move made her even less enchanted with this date. As they were bowling up on campus she kept thinking to herself 'what is the point of this' and had worked herself into a bit of a funk.

They walked back to her house and Fitz said, "why don't we go get a movie?"

Agatha begrudgingly agreed only to be reminded that Fitz didn't have a car so she would be driving them to rent this movie. She walked down to her car, saw it covered in snow, and was miffed. She thought to herself, "why can't this date just be over already!" Agatha decided that she would hurry things along and not do any snow removal on her rear window. She jumped in the car, thew it into reverse and very soon after heard her car and the apartment dumpster meet with a big thud.

Fitz looked wide-eyed at Agatha and said, "Oh man" with a bit of wonder and amusement in his voice.

Agatha was now beyond miffed both by her dreadful night and by Fitz's stupid response. So she very calmly and nonchalantly said "Eh, it's ok. It happens all the time" while throwing her car into drive and speeding out of the lot.

and Fitz bought it.

Jumanji

My dear friend has this wonderful little dating theory that always makes me laugh. I asked if she would share it and she agreed. Go here to read all about it http://emilythetall.blogspot.com/2011/11/jumanji.html

Monday Madness: The Simpsons

Agatha and Fitz had been dating for a few months and to be honest it felt more like a friendship, and not in a good way. They got along well and had similar interests but they lacked all romance. They had been friends before they decided to give dating a shot and dating it turns out felt just like the friendship. It was time to call a spade a spade.

Agatha said "i am really sorry Fitzy but I just don't think we are anything more than friends.

Fitz responded "I actually agree completely"

the two sat awkwardly for a minute wondering what to do next, what would happen, how should they act....

Then Fitz said "I think The Simpsons are starting"

They turned the TV on and never mentioned dating again

Monday Madness: Tennis Anyone

Agatha and Fitz had been dating for a couple of months and things were going well. Fitz decided he had the perfect date, a romantic game of tennis. Agatha was not what one would call coordinated but she liked Fitz and wanted to be a good sport, so she decided to play. She walked onto the court. Her head, one would assume was filled with endless self talk, desperate to pump herself up and maybe discover some hidden tennis talents.

The ball came flying towards Agatha. She gathered up her courage and swung the racket with as much grace as she could muster. The ball came sailing towards her, completely avoiding her racket and hit her directly in the head.

Fitz felt the romance slip right out of his reach too.

Monday Madness: Set Me Up

Speaking of people being helpful. Set-ups happen often when one is single. Set-ups can be dreadful and uncomfortable but sometimes they are the only dates one goes on, so one see some value in them. Once I had a dear friend call to set me up and before she said much I agreed. Then the conversation went something like this:

"Oh, I am so glad you agreed. He is really a great guy... I mean he's not what you would call tall, dark, and handsome but he is very nice.... and um... he is not obese but..."

People say the silliest things when describing someone. It's usually an odd mix of compliments and insults, but we still go out and hope for the best.

Monday Madness: Maybe if...

I did this for Monday and then I didn't post it... sorry.

Have you noticed that as an "older" single other people really want to help help?

This happens all the time. People give advice, or offer set-ups, or offer sympathy... it goes on. Probably the most common is advice.

I really do appreciate everyone that has tried to help and I know their heart is in the right place but, sometimes they say the darnedest things. I have had people suggest that ask guys out while others suggest I wait for them to ask me; flirt with boys or ignore boys; play smart or play dumb; have lots of opinions or express no opinion.Most of the time it's a million contradictory ideas of what might work. Some ideas can be helpful and interesting but occasionally they are absolutely hilarious. My favorite of all time:

A friend of mine was throwing options of things I could say or do on a date. I was listening politely but I did occasionally reply with reasons that her ideas would not work. After a while of this back and forth, she looked at me exasperated and said "Maybe if you just talked less"

Maybe....

Monday Madness: I've Had Better

Fitz was a very level headed, literal young man on a blind date with Agatha. The date had been going well enough, but nothing to write home about. Agatha liked to talk openly, and the majority of the night she had been throwing out questions about anything and everything. Our dear Fitz was doing his best to answer every question thoughtfully and honestly. At the end of the night Agatha hit Fitz with one final question:

Agatha: "So, how does this date rate against other dates you've been on?"

Fitz thinks for a minute (but maybe not long enough) and says: "I've had better" after hearing the words come out of his mouth it occurs to Fitz that this might not be his most eloquent and smooth dating moments so he quickly adds "I've also had worse..."