Is This What They Mean by Fat and Happy?

It is 9:30 AM and I can hear a soda can opening, the sound echos through the office. I work with a handful of accountants. These same accountants, all men, stare at spreadsheets and numbers all day, and they drink a lot of soda. One drinks mostly Cherry Coke, another Diet Coke, another one Dr. Pepper, and the last drinks Mnt Dew. I try to drink water. It isn't because I am the kind of girl that never drinks soda, I like soda, in fact, I even like Cherry Coke. My bosses is like a Cherry Coke pusher the first few are always free and offered before I even ask for them. How can I not drink it if it is already in my hand? That is how the desire for Cherry Coke started; that and lots of late nights at work. I used to work late a lot until one of my bosses pulled me aside and said I would never meet any boys if I was always at work and told me to leave the office and essentially get a life. I obliged.

Anyway, I get headaches and migraines often so I stopped drinking caffeine just in case. I don't know if it helped. I still can't really tell what helps with headaches and what doesn't, but not drinking caffeine can't hurt so I don't do it anymore. Then I got married and I well... started to gain weight so now I don't ever drink soda during the day. Well occasionally I do, but almost never. I know some people would say I shouldn't drink soda at all, but I am not there yet. So, I turned down soda and turned up the water, also an anti-headache measure (again I don't know if it helps but it doesn't hurt). If nothing else, less soda should equal less weight gain.  I hear that pop of a can opening, and like a recovering addict my thoughts are pulled from what I am doing and are distracted by the desire for soda. Take another swig of water and get back to work.  You see an office isn't an easy place to be healthy. Everyone eats all day partially out of boredom and to help them stay awake. People eat whatever they can get their hands on and that usually means junk. I am not a strictly healthy eater, I love sweet things, however, I actually like eating healthy. I like fresh fruit and veggies. I like homemade.

Yet, I am gaining weight like I am preparing for hibernation and since I am not hibernating it isn't ideal. I have heard a lot of "everyone gains weight when they get married" but why? Is it some kind of cosmic equalizing technique- sure you aren't as fit and hot as you'd like to be, but now you have a husband, so that's something? Is it because subconsciously I know I don't have to try so hard to attract people anymore? I have been thinking about it for a while and with the help of the husband I think I have figured it out:

First, we get out less. Since we no longer have to go anywhere to be alone or to see each other we often times don't go anywhere at all. Being a real homebody, sitting on the couch watching documentaries on Netflix with the man I love is a real dream come true for me (that sounds sarcastic, it isn't sarcastic. I do love it). But, it isn't very... what do people call that?... active. So more sitting around equals more chubby tummy.

Second, we eat more regular meals. As a single girl I can't even start to count the number of times that I ate popcorn for dinner, had a bowl of cereal for every meal, or was running around so much I forgot to eat altogether. I know that this was not a healthy way to live. I know that eating regular meals with more food groups than pasta is a better idea for any body. But, it is new to my body. It is hard to cook for one so lots of times you don't and now I am more than just the one so I do cook, kinda

Third, and the most significant one in the list, I eat more. We noticed that when I plate dinner I often split it right in half. My husband and I are no where near the same size yet, I am accidentally pacing my eating with his. Why? I don't know.It is craziness. I didn't even know I was doing it until I felt myself thicken and started to investigate. I have asked around and lots of women say they accidentally did the same thing, keeping pace with their hungry husband.

I never took people seriously when they said newlyweds gain weight, but I am here to testify that it is, in fact, the truth. So, here are some tips, from my fat face to yours: 

• drink water and not Cherry Coke, even when everyone else is doing it
• Eating as much as your loved ones isn't the only way, nor is the the most piratical way, to bond
• Going on a walk with your husband is surprisingly more romantic than trying to compete for food at dinnertime. 

Applicable songs:
Bad Body Double- Imogen Heap
Big Girl You are Beautiful- Miika