When Life Gives You Blues and Meantimes

A few hours into my work day, I am feeling a bit blue; no real reason just feeling blue. I stayed up too late last that probably has something to do with it. Then, because of the late night I slept in and didn’t read my scriptures and was late to work… I am sure that is the source of my feelings but I still can’t shake it. I walked back to my desk and lying on a corner was a dying fly. Things to note about this are: 1. I have no idea where this fly came from (how often do you see a fly dead or dying when you were not a participant in the destruction or the fly was not stuck next to a window?) 2. The fly was not dead, but dying.  Watching this tiny little body fight for its last bit of life really affected me. I sat confused and surprised at my desk and then I felt tears start to fill my eyes. I pulled myself together to go asked two men I work with what I should do. Both men felt my solution was obvious… put the fly in the trash. I took a deep breath and quickly, with tears coming yet again, moved my uninvited guest into the garbage can.

Isn’t it funny how much more desperate a situation seems when other things in life are not inline? When you are tired, not prioritizing life correctly, or when you are too focused on yourself those blues can seep quickly in. Whenever I start to feel hopeless, teary, and desperate I can always count on any combination of the following to resolve my feelings:  a nap (or even better getting to bed early), prayers, reading scriptures, reading a good book, turning off the TV, the computer, and the phone and enjoying some peace, being alone, being still, the temple, a bath, journal, time with my family, a favorite movie, a favorite joke with a friend…


When I have tried all of the options above and I still feel sad, then I know to add one last ingredient, time.  


Sometimes things are hard because we can’t be perfectly happy at all times.
Sometimes things are hard because we haven’t done those important things that revive, rejuvenate and refill us.
And sometimes things are just plain hard and the only solution is time. When this happens and you need to patiently allow time to work its magic, it is always wise to fill your meantimes. For me the same list that can knock me out of a mood will also sustain me through the most endless meantimes.


Lastly, one of the best cures for the blues is service. President Hinckley used to always remind of us of the time his dad wrote to a discouraged Elder Gordon Hinckley on his mission and gave him this simple, and always helpful, solution to the blues “forget yourself and go to work”. I really feel this is one of the most difficult things as a single. When single your life is, by definition, only really about you. Therefore, it can be incredibly hard to turn your thoughts outward. However, when I can fill my time with meeting others needs instead of thinking about my needs I find that I have less time to spend living in the blues.  When the blues hit I can start to feel heavy and see no solution in sight. But, just like my fly, to others the solution is often obvious. Fill your time with things that will recharge you, give yourself and your life time, and always be willing to forget yourself and get to work. With these simple ingredients repeated and reused in any combination that suit your needs a small fly dying on your desk will not be quite so tragic. 

- Not Desperate in SLC

Applicable Songs:
Ben Folds- Time
Imogen Heap- Wait It Out